Proximity and Coffee

July 30, 2008

Para is set to open August 21st.  We have a long list of things to do as we prepare for this business. I’ve never co-labored to get a business started; in fact, it continues to dawn on me, that a lot of things occurring in my life recently I have never done before.

  • I’ve never lived in a different place for an extended period of time.
  • I’ve never been engaged.
  • Never been married.
  • Never pursued purity or abstinence.
  • Joined my own church.
  • played guitar/songs in front of a big group of people.
  • sang consistently in church.
  • been a part of a band.
  • Had a full time job.
  • watched a baby being born.
  • had my own health insurance
  • planned a wedding
  • designed an application for a business.
This is just a small portion of things that have happened over this past year.
I am getting married in December. I have never been married before. I have no idea what I am doing. Eric and I are opening a business and getting married – all within 6 months, and he has another job – he does wedding photography every weekend for about 12 consecutive weeks. 
Like I said last time, I’ve been reading this book called Love and Respect. I think it makes me nervous. 
The idea that at some point in the not far future, Eric and I may not be on the same team – in fact, we might be very much opposed to each other.
We started reading Future Grace last night, trading off paragraphs to read aloud and commenting between portions. We read about despondency and the debtor’s ethic.
I think, reading this in the face of marital jitters has assuaged a lot of anxieties. The Lord is indeed good – he designed marriage to work, and he is the author and sustainer of our lives. For now, we’ve both realized that a few things are very important to a marriage:
1. Proximity.
2. Conversations.
3. Prayer.
4. Studying together.
5. Tim Keller’s marriage CD’s.
6. “A Spirit-Created Selflessness”
7. non-sexual intimacy
more to come…
Lora

One Response to “Proximity and Coffee”

  1. Calie said

    Love and Respect is a WONDERFUL book!!! I am so glad you’re reading it. :) But don’t let it be scary or discouraging… Take everything one day at a time. You guys will figure out what works and what doesn’t work for you–and you have your whole lives to do it. It’s so true, though, that if you can learn to communicate unconditional respect in such a way that Eric interprets it as respect, and if he can learn to communicate unconditional love in such a way that you interpret is as such, you’ll avoid most marital confrontations that stem from selfishness, misunderstanding, and anger (because you won’t have any reason to be angry at one another).

    My best wishes for you guys. You’re going to be awesome. :)

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